Only Human

You’ve heard people say it when they are trying to make you feel better about a bad decision – we are all human. It’s sounds cliche even as I write it. It is an excuse, a cop out; it is something we tell ourselves to make us sleep better at night but unfortunately there is some truth to it. We are all human, ONLY human, and that means ultimately we are flawed, prone to making mistakes, and hurtful to others at various points in our lives.

Even knowing we ourselves are incredibly flawed we continue to hold those around us to a higher standard and ultimately put them in line to fail. We set high expectations and when people let us down, as they often do, we hold them to a level of scrutiny that is often too intense and not the level of judgment we ourselves would want to receive.

I try to follow a sound moral compass. I work everyday to be kind and live a life my kids will be proud of someday. I want my decisions to be above reproach, especially in the eyes of my children. God knows I fail more often than I care to admit. Insert said cliche – I am human. I am ONLY human.

I strive for perfection. I am constantly trying to re-evaluate who I am and decide if it is who I want to be. While being self-aware is a good quality, it can lead to overanalyzing our own innate characteristics and doubting our self-worth. I wish I could accept who I am at face value and stop trying for the perfect wife, the perfect mother, the perfect friend. Because the truth is if we were all perfect there would be no pain and we would lose our ability to cherish the the moments filled with love and laughter. They all go hand-in-hand and you cannot have one without the other; happiness without sadness, healing without suffering.

Even with all that work – I am not perfect. My children will someday learn that the picture they have in their head of who their parents are is not all-inclusive. That it does not account for our weak moments, our human moments, our flawed moments. They will learn at times we hurt people, hurt each other, and made decisions we could not undo.

But my hope is this…I hope they also learn that grace and forgiveness are to be given freely. That I am only as human as they are. That when the time comes, I will accept their flaws and mistakes. That my love is unconditional. I hope they will be better people for knowing I am only human and it’s okay that they are too. It is also my hope that if I cut myself and those around me a little slack for their weaknesses, they will offer the same compassion to me when and if the time comes.